Another post on husbands

Actually, this one is really more about the idea of soul mates.  Someone I sort of know posted this on Facebook, it showed up in my news feed, I read it, it resonated, and I am posting it here.  Yay for social networking.  Or something like that.  See what you think.

My husband is not my soul mate.

The nursery

Today we left Hannah in the nursery at church for the first time.  It was hard for me, harder than I thought it would be.  I clutched our little pager throughout the service, wanting to make sure that if my girl needed me, I got to her right away.

But it didn't go off.  She did great - played on the floor and jumped in a jumper and was rocked and snuggled and loved by the volunteering women.  By women who weren't me.

I found this reality to be both comforting and scary.  Comforting for obvious reasons - my girl was safe and happy and I got to enjoy and focus on a church service without keeping one eye on her for the first time since she was born (this time I just had an eye on the pager).

But it was scary too.  I started thinking about all of the other people who will have influence over my daughter's life - Sunday school teachers, school teachers, small group leaders, coaches, babysitters, friends...the list goes on.  And I thought about all of the people who played those roles in my life, and the positive (and some negative) impressions they left.

So I started praying, for wise teachers, supportive coaches, kind and loving and helpful and encouraging friends.  And someday, for a husband who fulfills the requirements described in my previous post and more.

And I prayed for myself, and for Alex, that we would be parents who recognized and pursued our God-given calling to raise our daughter, but also parents that acknowledged our daughter's need for other relationships, for other mentors, for other teachers in her life.  I feel this deep need to watch over my little girl, which I know is a good and important and necessary feeling.  But if taken too far, I can easily see how it could manifest as a need to control her, to coddle her, to keep from experiences that may hurt her, and that is not the kind of parent I want to be.

So next week, we will take our girl to the nursery again, and I will thank God for loving and kind women who gave up their Sunday morning to love my daughter and keep her safe.  And I will try to clutch that pager just a little less tightly.

What to look for in a husband

It's been too long since I've posted here.  I've thought of lots of things I want to say and share and write down for posterity...but I always seem to think of them right before bed with no time to post.  This one stuck though, so I wanted to share.

The title of this post is bold, I know, but I've been thinking about this topic in light of a few upcoming marriages (namely my brother and my brother-in-law) and seeing a lot more of my husband (yay for the end of track season!).  Alex is all of these things to me, and I love being married to him.

So, here it goes...10 things to look for in a husband.

1. Someone who is crazy about you - this is critically important, because let's be honest, we all have our crazy moments, and it's going to take someone completely nuts about you to stick with you through a meltdown or two...per week.  Or day.
2. Someone you can't imagine living without - how would you feel if you could never see or talk to or touch this person again?  If the thought makes you suffocate a little bit (or a lot), I think that's a good sign.
3. Someone who makes you laugh - Duh.  Life is hard.  You want someone funny by your side.
4. Someone who thinks you are pretty funny too - this might be more important than #3, because as much as I love laughing at my husband's jokes, I think I love it more when he laughs at mine :)
5. Someone who gets your juices going - it doesn't have to heart-stopping, knee-weakening, I-want-to-suck-your-face every minute of every day...but it should be sometimes.
6. Someone who knows what you need when you need it, or is willing to put the time and effort into figuring it out - you want someone who "gets you", who reads you well, who knows when you need a break or when you need a hug.  This one may take a little time, and he won't always get it right, but he should try.  (And so should you, by the way)
7. Someone you work well with - running a family sometimes feels like running a small business - bills, to-do lists, errands.  You guys are business partners in life, so find someone you would want to work with, because you'll have to.  For like 50+ years (God-willing).
8. Someone who shares your spiritual worldview - You can compromise (and learn new things) if you like to read books for hours and he'd rather mountain bike, but there's no compromising if you believe in God and he doesn't.
9. Someone who has a similar decision-making style - This isn't a "must-have" but it has been handy for us.  We both make decisions relatively quickly and based on the same priorities.  It would be tough if he deliberated for days (or months or years) and I was ready to pull the trigger yesterday.
10. Someone you want to raise your children - you really can't (and shouldn't try to) raise a child by yourself - sometimes (a lot of times) you'll need a break, and you want someone to take over who will give it everything they have and then some.

So there you have it - my top ten things to look for in a husband.  And I found a guy with every one of them.  I am so blessed.