The nursery

Today we left Hannah in the nursery at church for the first time.  It was hard for me, harder than I thought it would be.  I clutched our little pager throughout the service, wanting to make sure that if my girl needed me, I got to her right away.

But it didn't go off.  She did great - played on the floor and jumped in a jumper and was rocked and snuggled and loved by the volunteering women.  By women who weren't me.

I found this reality to be both comforting and scary.  Comforting for obvious reasons - my girl was safe and happy and I got to enjoy and focus on a church service without keeping one eye on her for the first time since she was born (this time I just had an eye on the pager).

But it was scary too.  I started thinking about all of the other people who will have influence over my daughter's life - Sunday school teachers, school teachers, small group leaders, coaches, babysitters, friends...the list goes on.  And I thought about all of the people who played those roles in my life, and the positive (and some negative) impressions they left.

So I started praying, for wise teachers, supportive coaches, kind and loving and helpful and encouraging friends.  And someday, for a husband who fulfills the requirements described in my previous post and more.

And I prayed for myself, and for Alex, that we would be parents who recognized and pursued our God-given calling to raise our daughter, but also parents that acknowledged our daughter's need for other relationships, for other mentors, for other teachers in her life.  I feel this deep need to watch over my little girl, which I know is a good and important and necessary feeling.  But if taken too far, I can easily see how it could manifest as a need to control her, to coddle her, to keep from experiences that may hurt her, and that is not the kind of parent I want to be.

So next week, we will take our girl to the nursery again, and I will thank God for loving and kind women who gave up their Sunday morning to love my daughter and keep her safe.  And I will try to clutch that pager just a little less tightly.