Being "Mom"

The other day I had a realization.  Having a baby means being a mom, and being a mom means picking out clothes, making meals, and planning birthday parties for the kid(s), among other important tasks.

I know I'm not breaking any new ground here, but until recently, my horizon for this child was about six weeks.  What I mean is, I have spent a lot of time reading about, thinking about, and planning for the first six weeks.  After all, as parents we will learn a lot in six weeks - how to give a slippery-when-wet baby a bath, what the baby finds soothing, how to effectively walk the dog while pushing a stroller or being strapped to a baby carrier, what the baby looks like and sounds like and smells like.

But then I started thinking beyond six weeks.  And it got me thinking about the kind of mom I want to be.  So I started a list, in no particular order:

• Wise
• Fun
• Creative
• Easy-going
• Empowering
• Engaged
• Loving
• Kind
• Understanding

And then the list started getting long.  I got overwhelmed.  I thought, I don't know if I can be all of those things.  But then I remembered two things.  First, God gave us this child.  Not just any child.  This one.  And he did it for a reason - hopefully that means that we will be uniquely suited to be the kind of parents this child needs and deserves.

Second, when we screw up, when we are not "uniquely suited" and are more just average people who get angry and overwhelmed and careless and thoughtless, there is grace for that.  What a gift.  After all, in the same way that God is molding and shaping me and Alex into the people he designed us to be, he will do the same thing for this child.  God will mold the child - we are just the tools he chose to use.