So stylish

I don't typically think of myself as a very stylish person, especially these days as I face the weird reality that my regular clothes don't fit yet but my maternity clothes don't exactly fit either.  Basically, I wear a lot of yoga pants.

However, one of my mom's very kind and lovely friends gave me a Kate Spade gift card when Hannah was born - I guess she figured purses fit no matter what size you wear :)  So last week on a trip to the outlets, I stopped in to look around.  Alex stayed outside with Hannah in the stroller, but I carried the diaper bag into the store.

As I was glancing at all of the beautiful bags, a Kate Spade employee stopped me.  She says:
"I love your bag! Where did you get it?"
"Umm it's a diaper bag.  I got it at Target...I think it's made by Carters."
"Seriously?  It is so cute!  Did you get it recently?  I could use that around campus."

So although I walked out of the store without making a purchase, I still felt super stylish toting my diaper bag :)

Returning to the world

I have spent the vast majority of the past 6 weeks in our house, and most of that time with my behind on the couch holding the baby or feeding the baby or watching the baby sleep.  I do get outside every day to walk the dog, but I hadn't ventured anywhere in a car by myself until last weekend.  After those successful trips, I felt like we were on a roll, so to keep up the momentum this week, Hannah and I ventured to the grocery store, the doctor's office, AND Target!

All three trips went well - Hannah slept most of the time and only cried a little bit in the line at the grocery and in the car.  Success!

The interesting part of these trips for me though was how...disorienting it was to be out in the world again.  It felt like sensory overload - so much to look at, so many people.  I might as well have been in Times Square.

I was trying to move through the stores really quickly, which I'm sure contributed to this feeling, but I wasn't expecting to feel so...out of sorts after just six weeks.  I actually commented to Alex afterwards that the lights in Target seemed brighter than usual.  Eek.

So this is a sign.  The time has come to start figuring out our new "normal" and it cannot be limited to the walls of my house.  The weather is getting nice, the baby is getting big, and I am losing my social skills.  We have to get out more :)

Our first adventure

As I posted on our family blog, this weekend was full of adventures for Miss Hannah and me - our first track meet and our first trip to church for Easter.

What I didn't post was some of the dramatics that went on behind the scenes.

Saturday morning everything was going really well - the dog was walked, the car was loaded, the diaper bag was packed with extra outfits, lots of changing supplies, hand sanitizer...you get the idea.  I was prepared.

I got Hannah all strapped in to her car seat, jumped in the front seat and we headed out.  She was doing great, staying calm...until we hit a stoplight.  Then the wailing began.

There was no way I was going to make the 35 minutes drive to the meet with her wailing like that and completely unable to comfort her.  So, I found a parking lot, we pulled over, and I jumped in the back seat to come to her rescue.  I changed her, rocked her, got her out in the fresh air, and she fell asleep.

Until I put her back in her car seat.

This time, I wised up.  Instead of pulling her out, I pulled the whole car seat out and swung her like a (really heavy) swing next to the car.  After a few minutes of that, success!  She went to sleep and stayed asleep for the whole drive.  The whole adventure took an extra 30 minutes or so, but we made it!

Our amazing bodies

 By "our" I mean all women everywhere.  Being pregnant, and then recovering from giving birth, has given me a whole new appreciation for God's design of our bodies.  First of all, I grew a human inside of me.  A whole new person.  Who would have guessed that this:

could come out of this:

Whoa.

Second, after that seemingly impossible feat occurred, I never could have imagined how quickly my body would start to feel like my body again.  Mostly because I gained a lot of weight while I was pregnant.  A lot.  Like 45 pounds, which is exactly 10 lbs more than is "recommended" for women of average BMI before pregnancy.  I was a whale.

The amazing thing is that within two weeks, 25 of those pounds went away (well, 9 lbs came out as a baby, but you get my point), and a little more goes away every day.

Thirdly, my beautiful (big) girl is getting bigger every day eating only the food my body produces.  What an amazing system!

God really knew what he was doing when he designed women's bodies, and I have never appreciated that more than I do now!

Don't cry over spilled milk

I was prepared for certain things required when caring for a newborn.  I knew how to change her diaper (although I'll admit there are waaaay more diapers than I ever imagined, and sometimes they come in faster succession than I thought possible), I knew how to carry her while supporting her head, and I knew sometimes she would cry and we'd have to figure out how to soothe her.

Breastfeeding was a total mystery.  Honestly, Hannah is the expert and I just provide the equipment.  I prepared as best I could - took the class, did the reading, bought the supplies - but there is one thing I didn't prepare for.

I am constantly covered in milk.

Maybe my girl is a messy eater, but between her dripping, me leaking, and her spitting up, I am finding milk to be a new part of my wardrobe 24/7.  Some times are worse than others - once she spat milk in my face, and then I repaid the favor by spraying her before she could get her mouth open (not on purpose of course...at least not consciously).

I have started using multiple burp cloths more like drop cloths covering me and her and whatever piece of furniture we are sitting on, because if I don't, there will be milk.  If anyone has a better way, please, tell me.  My washing machine will thank you.

So we had a baby...

Sometimes I still can't believe it.  Sometimes I still look at her and think, where did you come from little one?  Sometimes it feels so overwhelming - this tiny person completely relying on us for her most basic needs and knowing that our lives have changed so dramatically.  It's a lot to process, and all on less sleep and more hormones than ever.

I look at her and I can't even imagine her getting bigger.  I know she will - she's already outgrown her newborn PJs - but I can't picture it.  Her life is a blank canvas of sorts, and anything could happen.  She could be a dancer or a book worm or a pianist or a world traveler or (gulp) a thrower.  She could look like me, or like Alex, or (I hope) some beautiful combination unique to her.  What kind of music will she like?  What football team will she cheer for, or will she even care about football at all?  What will her laugh sound like?

All of this amazes me, that God would use us to bring a whole new life into the world - a new soul with new dreams and new talents and God already knows.  He knows everything about her, because he made her and he already loves her so much.  And he's given us the task of teaching her about the world, about God and love and how to be a good friend...it's a big job.

There are so many moments to treasure, like this morning, snuggling together, listening to the silly noises she makes when she sleeps, watching her learn to smile and getting glimpses of her personality to come (I know they're not real smiles yet...but they will be soon!).  And she's only 2 weeks old.

My mom said that when I was born, and they first put me on her chest, she looked at me and saw this tiny person she felt like she already knew.  I didn't really feel that way - this little girl and I are still getting to know each other, and every day we learn something new.  What an incredible gift.

P.S. I am going to keep posting to both blogs - this one will be more like a journal and the other will be more like a virtual baby book for everyone to enjoy :)

Hannah is here :)

As you have probably heard, we welcomed our little baby girl Hannah Laverne into the world at 5:36 AM on February 19, 2013.   After an extra 12 days of waiting and nearly 36 hours of labor, she finally graced the world with her beautiful presence :)

More to come on her birth and the days following in future posts, but for now, I wanted to announce the start of a second blog - Hanging with the Heacocks - where I will post Hannah stories and pictures for a broader audience.  Link to that blog is here but don't get too excited - I haven't posted anything yet :)

For now, here are a few pictures to enjoy!  I know I'm biased, being her mom and all, but I think she is stunning :)